V is for – Value

Value in Dominican Republic is pretty straight forward.  $$$ or pesos here, that is about the only thing that is truly valued by Dominicans or Expats for that matter.  Family is a close second, that being the Dominican’s Dominican family … and no, their foreign spouses if pitted against family will generally lose out with the family reigning supreme.  The other thing that is valued that is prized above all else is that elusive Visa to another country.  Pitbull’s song, International Love, highly accurate.  Whether they are sankies with many men or women from around the world, or whether the sankie has only one man or woman at a time, the results are the same.  This slime of humanity cares not for their prey by any stretch of the imagination.  They will go to whatever lengths necessary to acquire their desires.

Sankie:  a parasitic human being extorting money from their prey and pursuing a Visa to another country through marriage fraud with all the support of their family and friends!  Loyalty at it’s finest.  <insert vomit here>

There is a very low percentage that get their Visas that are good men or women, but the good ones, they are amazing!

What does a sankie look like?  Fat, skinny, short, tall, black, caramel, white, young, old, bald, short hair, long hair, educated, uneducated … as the faceless Dominican doll souvenir exemplifies that a Dominican can look like anything, so too can a sankie.

This is not a unique phenomenon to Dominican Republic, it exists world wide in every 3rd world cesspool.  We who live here have all experienced it to some degree.  Those that visit if they present a welcoming smile are almost immediately targeted.  Frankly it exists in every country that the grass appears greener on the other side of the fence.

Then, the sankie dance begins.  The courtship, the slowly bleeding the victim dry of their finances, acquiring their visas, entry to their target country, pursuing arguments with the spouse to the point that the spouse turfs them leaving the spouse destitute in many circumstances.  Depending on the sankie, they can keep up the act for many years, within DR, AND once arriving to their target country, all the while maintaining relationships with all the others they were scamming and their husbands/wives or lovers in DR.  Yes HUSBANDS and WIVES!  Once landed in the target country, few speak the language, they lack the skills for good paying jobs …  But soon, very soon the spouse makes them connections with others from DR to give them a sense of home, a sense of belonging.  Jobs are found, some good paying some not, with claims that they only make xxx $$$ and proceed to contribute very little to the household, all the while sending vast sums of money home to their DR spouses!  Then the plan hatches a little further.  Potential room mates are found and … adios amormio!

I learned yesterday that a once good friend had passed away the other day.  Leaving behind her toddler and a Dominican husband who was still un-visa’d.  I hadn’t spoken to her in several years and assumed all was relatively well.  She used to ask me, “do you think he’s a sankie?”  I used to tell her, “there is no way to know, but you will know withing a very short time of his immigrating to your country.”  She hesitated for years before marrying him.  Had a child out of wedlock, not a problem, and continued her visitations.  She began either feeling more secure in her relationship or simply wanted her baby daddy home with her and have the nuclear family.  Wedding bells chimed and hitched they got.

Not long after having her baby, and I don’t know the exact details, she was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer and had a mastectomy.  So with a baby, and a spouse in another country she was alone relying on family and friends to help her out.  Cancer spread and she was terminal.

Now, this SON-OF-A-BITCH, this HIJO DE PUTA, and yes I will swear loudly … continued to harass her for money which for a while she sent.  I believe she learned the truth of his duplicity before passing.  This breaks my heart.  Having to die, leave the child you love more than life, and knowing, knowing that you were FUCKED over.  How she must have hurt!  This scum of the earth, had the audacity to ask her best friend and supporter  if his papers for immigration had been submitted while his wife was on her deathbed!  I don’t know if he inquired about his child.  This precious child that she moved heaven and earth to have, now parentless.  I would take her in a heartbeat though I am glad she has family.

The only unique thing about this story is that she will not be suffering the aftermath of being Sankied!

In short, when you all are traveling, remember this story, look up others, they all are true.  Don’t become the next victim, don’t believe the verbal diarrhea they spew.  In your own country, you would never or rarely find the love of your life at a bar, or club, or dancehall, or hotel, etc.  You would find them in places of common interest.  Universities, colleges, volunteering, churches, etc.  It’s no different here!  If they don’t come with a recommendation from someone, a non-Dominican, that has known them personally that has interacted with them for many many years … turn and RUN in the opposite direction!

If all of you reading this could join me, and say a non-denominational prayer for this woman and her child that she be at peace and that the child be blessed in life, I would be most appreciative.  Thank you!

RIP Chica!

 

Listen to the palms…


~Loca Gringa,

© Loca Gringa and https://locagringa.wordpress.com

 

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3 responses to “V is for – Value

  1. I’ve been thinking about her a lot since I heard the sad news. Every word you wrote is the truth girl, just honest truth. I’d like to say a prayer for her and her little girl, now separated. How sad.

    • I thought of her that morning. Before I knew she had died. Wondered how she would fare in 15 – 20 years with a teenager. Never thinking she wouldn’t make it to old age 😦

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