T is for – Trust

I’ve always had issues with trust.  Not that I mistrust, but that I trust too readily, too easily, like the faithful pup pictured.  Well that was in the past, certainly not now.  That in mind, it’s easy to see why I’ve been disappointed 90 % of the time.  I envy those that trust only after they have gotten to know a person.  They are never disappointed.  I’ve said this many times, this, is paradise with parasites and the worst parasites are not dysentery, nor giardia, nor every worm imaginable.  The worst parasites are the ones on two legs.

They used to be in days of old called “confidence” men.  This now applies to both sexes, young and old, local and foreign.  This evening for example, I went for a walk to the corner store and a kid of about 8 years old on a bike rode by and demanded, “give me 100 pesos.”  Cheeky lil bugger.

This parasitic environment goes deep here.  Between SANKIES, TIGUERES (google these), and expats here in hiding, you are definitely at risk.  I could write a novel or three on this topic, or tell you straight out, but people never ever believe that other people are THAT bad.  And then there is also the attitude of entitlement of the locals.  I’ve had my fair share.

They will tell you what they think you want to hear or manipulate you, in order to get what they want to get out of you.  Whether that is a beer, a meal, or the ever elusive wedding ring with a visa attached.  They start small and work their way up to bigger things.  This behaviour is not exclusive to Dominican / Gringo relations.  They will rob each other blind as well.

There are very good reasons why Dominicans don’t allow strangers in their homes.  It is the custom.  It is ingrained.  So much so that they also hesitate to enter even upon invitation.   If they wont let each other in, why on earth would you extend an invite!  Think about it!

It is very important to remember of course that not all are like this.  Yes, the majority appear to be opportunists of sorts, but if you don’t give them opportunity …    Also, there are some amazingly kind and loving people in this country and I have been very blessed to have had them in my life.  My boys always make sure I get home safe too!  Very lucky.  My merchant friends always look out for me.  Family, top notch!  Yes truly blessed.

I’m not the only one to experience this “phenomenon,” I have a good friend on the north coast, amongst many others that are in accord.  Yesterday we discussed this in depth, and she concurs, “here I find everything the people do or say it’s because they have an ulterior motive … they’re are working you over until they hit you up for something … to me it’s just dirty slimy … that’s what I feel anyways.”

My point in this, is, in this country, trust with reservation.

 

Listen to the palms…

~Loca Gringa

© Loca Gringa and https://locagringa.wordpress.com

 

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6 responses to “T is for – Trust

    • Yup. Part of the problem is that this island has so many “escapees” to other parts around the globe, and those send huge dollars home and when they visit they spend big. Now in all fairness some can afford it. Though most cannot.

      This creates a false sense of the brass ring.

      Until they live in another country and experience this themselves they simply don’t understand or don’t believe. And if they are fortunate enough to do so, they never tell their families that it was a bad idea. They LET them believe that they are successful. Not that they are working 4 x harder and need 2 jobs to survive and send home money.

      Very few get the good paying jobs.

      The honest ones will say, “I’ve never had to work so hard in my entire life.”

  1. I’m reminded of, “Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me.” I understand where you are coming from with this post. I, too, have been hurt by people I thought I could trust. Yet, I find myself relying more on my intuitive sense of goodness in Nicaragua. Maybe it is because of a lack of fluency in Spanish…maybe it is because I don’t want to live in fear and paranoia. Whatever the reason, I still invite people into my home and I still trust in the goodness of people. Have I been taken advantage of because they perceive all white foreigners as rich? Sure. I’ve learned to joke with the kids in the barrio who ask for money when I pass by their houses. I hold out my hand with a pitiful look and ask them for a dollar. They laugh, and go on their way. Sometimes, they will help me carry my groceries home, now that we’ve established a joking relationship. I hate being perceived as a rich foreigner, but I have to accept the fact that I do have a lot more money than most of the local people I encounter everyday. I have learned never to lend money, but instead we’ve worked out some unique trades, such as loaning $200 to my taxi driver in exchange for taxi rides, or paying for my neighbor’s thyroid meds in exchange for a home cooked meal.
    Will I be scammed again? Probably. But, I feel more self-assured and I’ve learned so much about living in a different culture. I’m more aware, more intuitive, and actually I have developed more trust in myself. Keep the faith, Loca.

    • Well my friend that I was quoting told me that our situation here is not found for example in Cuba. There she said that people are less parasitic. They still have the 1950’s charm and characters. I suspect that will soon change there too.

      And yes, lol, I too trust myself. I am very cautious whom I give my trust to. And always with reservation. But that’s ok too 😉

      As for thyroid meds. here, we have Farmacia del Pueblo where medications are purchased by the government and sold for very few pesos. levothyroxina 1.75 pesos a pill. That’s less than 200 pesos per 100 or, about 5 dollars.

      I wonder if you have something similar there?

      • Unfortunately, the thyroid meds that my neighbor has to take for the rest of her life, are too expensive for her to buy when the end of the month comes and she hasn’t received her dead husband’s pension yet. I don’t think they are expensive, but when she has NO money, I help her and I get a delicious meal in return. I’m afraid you are right about Cuba changing soon. 😦

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