A Stranger in my own Country

A stranger in my own country!  Wow!  How often have I felt those pangs of loneliness?  From the time I was 16 years old I lead a very nomadic life.  I hopscotched across western Canada, footloose and fancy free.  Living out of a suitcase and renting semi furnished places suited my wanderlust.  I was very much a loner hiding under my umbrella.

I never fit in, at least I never felt as I did.  It’s funny, when I meet people from my youth they reminisce about how popular I was.  “Me?  Popular?  You must be remembering someone else.”  They try very hard to convince me that they remember correctly but I truly believe they are mistaken.  I assure them, “nope, sorry, not me.”  It’s then that you realize how normal or not alone you are.  They too felt the same pangs of loneliness and inadequacy.

From time to time I would return to my home province.  To no avail, I would never feel accepted.  I had done too much, experienced to much, and seen too much.  That set me apart from the norm.  “She thinks she’s better than us,” could be heard whispered when people thought I was out of earshot.  I remember it all too well.  Eventually I had children and resettled in my home province.  I still didn’t fit in.  Being a single parent working in a snooty environment, living in a 3 story walk-up 2 bedroom apartment, I didn’t fit in with my colleagues suburbia classist mentalities.

It’s NOT ok to not fit it in your own home, neighbourhood, city, province/state, or country.  It’s really not.  And, there is no solution.

So, I up and left.  Nomadic by nature I landed in the Dominican Republic.  Do I love it here?  Sometimes.  It’s living, it’s a life, not much different than anything I’ve lived before.  More frustrations and there are different ways of doing things in DR.  The climate and scenery are beautiful, different, but not better, only different.

Do I fit in?  Hell NO!  But hey, I’m a stranger in THEIR country not in my own country.  I’m NOT supposed to fit in here.

I may not fit in, not in the Dominican Republic, but in DR, I am welcomed.  Welcomed with open arms and made to feel a part of the community.

When you read the sign, “Bienvenido a la Republica Dominicana,” it is from their hearts.

 

Listen to the palms…


~Loca Gringa

© Loca Gringa and https://locagringa.wordpress.com

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